"Providing for the ones he loves and cares about, whether it’s monetarily or with sweat equity, is a part of a man’s DNA, and if he loves and cares for you, this man will provide for you all these things with no limits.”- Steve Harvey
As Guardians, we vocationally choose to create prosperity for our tribe. Whether we are an entrepreneur, investor, business owner or employee, we all work hard to make sure our family's future is financially secure, with a little extra to enjoy the finer things in life. And if you're like me, sometimes we place too much focus on the financial side of prosperity. I often have to remind myself to be cognizant of the fact that my tribe’s prosperity means a lot more than financial security. My tribe needs my presence. My girls want to play, create and imagine with me. My wife wants connection, loving and tender touch. Not only do they need this from me, but I crave and desire these interactions at the deepest part of my being. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t worry about providing for them.
But transitioning from "boss mode" to "dad mode" is often difficult, especially when I'm pushing the limits of my intellect and capabilities in the office, launching a new business, and managing investments. Being a sole provider for my Tribe is a privilege, and it of course means there's alot on my mind. On many occasions, I've arrived at home ready too fully engage in play with Sophia and Lily, and dance and laugh and connect with Sidney, only to be pulled out of presence by thoughts of "I haven't done enough" or remembering an unfinished task from the day.
Mastering the ability to quickly and effectively transition from the the work day to home is a endeavor worth pursuing. Here are some techniques I've found extremely useful that allow our tribe to truly prosper.
1. Have a Transition Ritual:
Bake some time into your calendar for a non-negotiable transition ritual to create space in your mind and body to smoothly move from one state of being to the next.
Transcendental Meditation is an extremely powerful way to find stillness and introduce a cognitive and somatic gap between work and home.
A quick 5 minute, heart centered meditation, such as HeartMath, can help you get out of your head, and tune into your heart to access the deep wisdom, emotional balance, compassion and clarity within.
A solid workout or visit to the gym can help move residual energies and be a physical signal to the body to transition.
Using Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques such as Anchoring can help you step into are more resourceful state as you get home
2. Environmental Design
Put your phone and computer away. Silence notifications. Get outside with your kids.
3. Work with the Inner Judge
You know when you've worked hard enough. If you actually haven't worked hard enough that day, give yourself a break. You're human. Work will always be there tomorrow and we can work harder. And don't take out your frustration of not working enough on your kids. They want to connect with you and play with you. They don't care about money.
4. Power Questions to Re-Focus
When you feel pulled or distracted to send that last email, or if you have a lot of mental activity from the day, remembering to ask yourself these powerful questions can help you prioritize and refocus your attention to where it needs to be.
"Is X really more important than the time and experience with my family?"
"Is focusing on X going to give me more time or less time with my family?"
Sometimes X will need priority. And that's ok. You're the Guardian and only you know what is best. But remember not to deprive yourself and your tribe of the things that really matter. Love, experiences, connection, creativity and passion.